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Bette A. Ludwig, PhD 🌱's avatar

This was incredibly poignant, Anastasia. It gets to the heart of how misrepresented women are in general, but it particularly sets mothers up for failure, and they always get the blame for pretty much anything that happens to the child as they're growing up. It's definitely a societal issue that needs to change.

Anastasia | ModernMomPlaybook's avatar

Thanks for reading, Bette. I totally agree. It really does need to change at a societal level.

The perfect mother myth does not end after those early weeks. It becomes the foundation for a lifetime of impossible standards

Code and Crayons's avatar

Loved it and also feel so sad that how unrealistic we are with picturing a mom. Most of the initial days I remember I looked like zombie trying to figure out why is he crying. Am I not producing enough milk or he is not able to drink. We just were surviving. I never had a single photo of mine which looks like what AI generated.

Anastasia | ModernMomPlaybook's avatar

Exactly this: "we were just surviving". That's exactly how I felt too. Yet, it is so different than what AI outputs..

Kunlun, PhD | Playful Brains's avatar

This is such an interesting angle! Loved it!

Cool bear's avatar

So heart touching, honest and brutal. Societal norms in need of disruption indeed! Great piece! Thank you yet again

Kaisa Martiskainen's avatar

I can relate to so much of this. I also discuss this in my latest essay where I write about the dream of maternal AI and how machines could only emulate motherhood that has no relation to the actual human experience. Thanks for this!

Anastasia | ModernMomPlaybook's avatar

Thanks for reading, Kaisa! Going now to read yours!

Mia Kiraki 🎭's avatar

What an amazing and eye opening post! The sad part is that many mothers are aware of this but still prefer to show a polished version rather than the truth.. Vicious circle :(

Anastasia | ModernMomPlaybook's avatar

yes.. and that's what makes this so hard to break. I do not think mothers choose the polished version out of vanity, I think they do it out of self-protection. But it only creates the vicious circle.

Dr Sam Illingworth's avatar

Thank you, Anastasia, for this beautifully written and extremely important post. Speaking as a man I can only empathise and speak from my experiences as a father and uncle, but these generated images reveal the biases that are clearly systemic in our society. Being a new mum can be extremely rewarding, but also depressing, upsetting, and emotionally and physically draining. It is certainly not glamorous, and these images set a false impression in mothers that they are somehow 'failing' by not looking (or feeling) like this. Thank you for exposing these lies, so that we can instead celebrate new motherhood in all its complex and very messy reality.

Anastasia | ModernMomPlaybook's avatar

Thank you, Sam. It is powerful to hear this from a father's perspective. So often these conversations stay within mother-to-mother spaces, and I think that's part of why the systemic problems persist.

Thank you for being part of this conversation.